Recently Jill Scott and Chilli?discussed open relationships on twitter. ?Jill Scott was open and willing to consider it and Chili was adamant that it was not cool and that a monagamous relationship was the only way to go.
Jada Pinkett and Will Smith have had a open relationship since day one of their marriage. Will said:?
?Our perspective is, you don?t avoid what?s natural and you?re going to be attracted to people.? he says.
?And if it came down to it, then one would say to the other: ?Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now, I?m not going to if you don?t approve of it?.?
?In our marriage vows, we didn?t say ?forsaking all others?. We said ?you will never hear I did something afterwards?. Because if that happens the relationship is destroyed.?
I decided to I wanted to hear the woman?s side of the story. So I reached out to the authority on open relationships ? Kenya K Stevens who is not only an expert on open relationships, but she is also in a open relationship. Kenya and her husband Carl Stevens are the pioneers of the Progressive Love Movement.
Ask Kissy: What is the definition of a open relationship?
Kenya:??The definition of an open relationship is one in which partners can show up as real people in the relationship sharing true feelings with one another as a form of deep intimacy and bonding. A sexually open relationship is one in which couples can not only be truthful, but act upon one?s personal truth by having other love partners and interests.?
Ask Kissy: What are the pros and cons of being in a open relationship?
Kenya:??Some benefits ? being authentic means you can live free and happy in life without feeling guilty about your feelings and actions.
Some cons ? one has to be very mature and spiritually evolved to move beyond jealous feelings, but it can be done and my husband and I are proof of that.?
Ask Kissy: Are you truly happy being in a open relationship?
Kenya:??I am truly happy in my open relationship and I would never go back to a monogamous lifestyle again. I was monogamous for 12 years with my husband and I wasn?t receiving everything I wanted, but it was ok. I was willing to settle as long as he was. But once we moved beyond fear and opened to a new way of life ? an open lifestyle ? we found our relationship got deeper with one another, we are more committed to staying together, we are closer friends and we are happier. I think we are happier because we know that everything we desire doesn?t have to come from our spouse, we can spread our desires around and get more people involved with our lives and happiness!?
Ask Kissy: What do you have to say about someone saying that a woman in a open relationship is being stupid or simply doing what her mate wants her to do?
Kenya:??LOL! Besides the fact that they are crazy? I say they have lost touch with their sexuality. A woman craves WAY more sex than a man. I think we?ve forgotten how we usually feel if a man has sex with us for less than an hour or so. I want to have sex for long periods of time, and I want the man to always have fresh desire for me. Well, in a marriage, this isn?t always the case, especially after many many years? plus men and women like variety. Since when is it just men who want variety, since NEVER. Or maybe since Charles Darwin told the lie about women and our coy sexual attitude and virginally behavior.
Again, it is a proven scientific fact that women are turned on by a variety of sexual partners and acts, even more so than men! In a study done where men and women looked at a series of images, some animals having sex, lesbians, gays, hetero sex, kink, violent sex, so forth? WOMEN were turned on by most EVERY image while men were just turned on based on their sexual preference to the images of sex.
Women are hornier and needier for sex and attention than men. It also shows in the way we moan and hollar during sex louder than any man!
Needly to say, if a woman believes that a woman in an open relationship is stupid or has been hurt, then she is probably stupid or has been hurt, because a woman in an open relationship has usually taken full command of her sexuality and wears it like a MINK or a straight DIAMOND baby.?
WoW. Well dayum! (Gucci Mane voice) That last statement says ?a lot. I think a open relationship may be a good thing. It invites in honesty. It has to be better knowing versus someone doing it behind your back.?A marriage is still pretty much a commitment to someone and having sex outside the marriage does not mean that you are no longer committed when in a open relationship. I imagine it has to be tough to work out the jealousy issues. ? ?Maybe these two couples and other like them know something that the rest of us don?t know. Both couples have been together for over 10 years and have beautiful families. ?With the divorce rate being as high as it is may be this is something society needs to consider.
I have witnessed Kenya?s joy in her relationship and if I didn?t know the facts I would think that is was Kenya who brought up the subject of a open relationship instead of her husband being the initiator. ?Kenya is always smiling and seems to live comfortably on cloud nine. ?Frankly she stays in Bliss.
After reading this article What?s your take on a open relationships ? Would you be willing to try it?
Check Out Kenya and Carl on The Monique Show:?
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